Sunday, January 2, 2022
We made a goal for the new year to go on a family walk every day, today we decided to walk to and from church. It was cold for the mile walk, but not too bad. I dare say we’ll do it again…but we’ll enjoy it more when it’s warmer! 😉🙌🏼🥰
Monday, January 3, 2022
First day back to our routine, I had a dream that I slept in and had to rush the kids to school. Instead I woke up early, because of said dream, and cheerfully got everyone ready for school. There was a beautiful pink sky that we all admired, that also helped with the zen morning.
As the day progressed, I thought to myself: “I’m doing it! I’m going with the flow, but getting stuff done, this is so great!”
But then on our walk, I had to holler at the kids too many times that is was time to go. Then dinner was more complicated than expected, the house was messy, and my patience was getting thin. I ended the night lecturing the kids of the importance of cleaning up after themselves and pitching in with the chores. Then I told the kids I loved them, but I was done for the night. I’d love to snuggle tomorrow. I’d love to hear your memorization tomorrow, but tonight I’m done.
I know it’s not a bad thing to create boundaries and put myself first before I explode, but I’d rather end the night better than tonight. I talked with Jacob about it, and we haven’t come up with any great plan. But maybe just bring aware of conserving my mental and physical energy will help. 🤞🏼 But if I have to tell the kids I’ve reached my limit of asking and getting nothing in return and I’ll see them in the morning when I’m recharged…well that can be a good lesson as well.
Tuesday, January 4, 2022
This morning I started the next level in my favorite exercise program, @getmomstrong. At the beginning she encourages us to take pictures, so that we can see our progress, because it’s hard to see it in the day in day out.
I thought about it, then I talked to Jacob about it. He helped me realize I didn’t need to take pictures, because my goal was not to change my body, it’s to get strong. Let me say that again:
My goal is not to change my body, it’s to get stronger. 💪🏼
I know 2020 Cassanda would be happy and proud of 2022 Cassanda! It’s been a long road to truly love and accept this amazing body I have. I’m still not perfect at it, but I’m getting better and that’s what counts. If my body gets smaller, awesome, if my body stays the same or gets bigger, awesome. As long as I’m getting stronger, feeling happy and more in control of my life, I’m good with it!
Friday, January 7, 2022
I already talked with my doctor and switched meds, hoping this new combination will work, because I really miss being myself. I talked with the kids today, told them my mind was sick. “I’m doing what I can to fix it and will try to be as present and normal as I can, but if I need to go to my room for a bit, you know why.”
I’m so grateful for resilient kids, an understanding husband, and modern medicine to help me figure this all out.
Saturday, January 8, 2022
I got to sleep in.
The nausea and dizziness I was feeling in the morning, as a side affect of my new medicine, left in the afternoon. And I felt better mentally all day.
The kids did their Saturday chores relatively quickly and well!
We finally went to the car wash and everyone loved it, except Peter screamed the whole time. It was the cutest, funniest, saddest thing!
Jacob and I went on a date to the Temple, it was so peaceful and wonderful.
Overall it was a good day! 🙌🏼❤️