Weekly Updates beginning March 6, 2022

Sunday, March 6, 2022

Two days ago the kids were riding bikes in the sunshine, and this morning we woke up to snow! Crazy weather!

Don’t worry though, the kids played outside most of the day. First, they tried to fill this box with snow so that when it melts it will turn into a swimming pool. (It was keeping them occupied and working together, I was not about to question their logic!)

And this afternoon/evening was spent playing kick the can…in the snow. Again, it kept them playing together happily, I was all for it! When when it made my newly mopped floors instantly dirty. 🥴

Monday, March 7, 2022

Best part is the day is when Jacob comes up from work for 2 hours to eat dinner with us and spend some good quality time together!

Tonight we did a taste test of all of Jacob’s favorite kind of jelly beans that you can only get around Easter, Starburst, Sweet Tarts, and Now and Laters. We all chose our favorites then he threw them at everyone and they all scrambled to get as many as they could.

We then played Deal or No Deal and Family Fued, both card games we found at the dollar store, and had a lot of fun. Yes, there was some tears and grumbling about not winning, but I got over it and we moved on. Just kidding, but the good outweighed the bad and that’s what I’m hoping we all remember!

Tuesday, March 8, 2022

It’s not blood…it’s frozen raspberries that were thawing in the fridge. I went to the bathroom and these two went to get a morning snack. 🤦🏼‍♀️😄🥴

Good news though, bath time was fun, kept them entertained, and I was able to work out while watching them! And really the mess was contained to just them, so no big deal! 😉😄🙌🏼

Thursday, March 10, 2022

I’ve been especially exhausted lately and that has meant more screen time for the kids, as I’ve tried to cope with said exhaustion. Because of that extra screen time, my children have been extra emotional. All of them have, but these two in these pictures have been especially more prone to screaming and crying and stubbornness.

This morning on the way to drop kids off at school, Lily screamed because I tried to help her buckle up. Then she screamed because I was driving instead of actively trying to fix her backpack. She screamed the whole way to the elementary school. She then screamed because she threw her backpack at me and now wanted it back. After we dropped off Steven at the Jr. High, Lily switched gears and screamed for the germs to get off of her arms…

Spencer has a very high pitched ear splitting scream/cry. Today he came to me with that scream at least 748 times. Someone wronged him and everyone needed to know and feel his pain. For the last two nights he has screamed, cried, pouted, thrown things, and refused to do things. Good times.

Good news though. We made it through the whole day without said extra screen time, and most of the kids didn’t even notice or care. I gave myself a lot of extra pep talks and shared with Ryan how to tell how I’m feeling by the music that’s playing. (When I’m overwhelmed and over stimulated I listen to instrumental versions of current songs, usually that feature cellos, it calms me.)

Also on the list of good things that happened today:
Christopher helping me make dinner, his request was chicken rolls, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli.
Perfecting yummy sugar cookie bars.
Watching a movie, snuggling with my kids, and hearing them giggle through it.
Finishing the book I’ve been reading to them at night, “The Mysterious Benedict Society”. We all loved it.
The kitchen is currently clean.
I’m about to go to sleep!

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Wednesday morning I went for a walk, the air was crisp but not too cold, it was lightly snowing, and there was a beautiful fresh coat of glittering snow on everything, it was so beautiful and peaceful!

My mind kept wondering how I can be better!? In the days leading up, I felt unmotivated and lazy, surely I’m doing something wrong. In the stillness of the morning I received my answer:

Right now, life feels different, it is different, and that’s ok. Just like winter feels different than spring or summer, that’s the way it’s supposed to be, lean into it. And the snow we receive in winter, is the water we’re able to use in the summer. Without the stillness of winter, we’d have a hard time doing the fun activities of summer.

I realized Wednesday night that the way I felt was most likely the side effects of my newish depression medication. About 6 weeks into using it, it was helping a lot but it also was making me more tired, we all agreed though that being tired was better than being depressed.

Unfortunately in the next few weeks my exhaustion would keep getting increasingly worse, and my coping mechanisms to being tired is very similar to my depression coping mechanisms: trying to escape on my phone, unhealthy eating habits, and laying in bed a good portion of the day.

I’ve talked with my doctor and I’m hoping that with daylight savings, my seasonal depression will go away and I can get back to being the person I want to be. But if it doesn’t, she gave me another medication I can try.

Yesterday I spent the day in bed, I was so tired and slept quite a bit of the day. I was able to help feed the kids, get them going on Saturday chores, but I didn’t have energy for anything else. I’ve always been able to push through and do all the things I’ve needed to or wanted to, so not being able to is hard for me.

BUT for a good decade I’ve been able to push through, grow our family, be able to meet everyone’s needs. I’m so grateful that when my family needed me the most, I was able to be there. In this season though, my kids are old enough to function without me a lot better. So now I humbling rest, take care of myself, and pray my spring is just around the corner.

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