I remember the feeling quiet well. Jacob came home from work about 4, and I was a mess! I hadn’t eaten all day, I was exhausted and overwhelmed and whenever I put my newborn down, he screamed and screamed. So I held him all day long. Although I had been around babies my whole life, this was my first child and I couldn’t bare to hear him crying, especially when there was something I could do. So I held him and was miserable and made my husband miserable as a result.
I think back to that time, now with the knowledge that comes with having 10 kids, and want to hug that version of myself. I’d listen to her worries and stresses and then give her this advice: a happy sane mom is best. Yes it’s so good and necessary to comfort your child, but that baby can sense your emotions as well. If you are stressed and overwhelmed that baby will sense that something’s not right and react accordingly.
I remember telling Jacob that day just how hungry I was because I couldn’t make myself lunch because I had to hold Steven. Now it makes me giggle. Cassanda, put the baby down for a few minutes while you make a sandwich. The baby will live and you’ll be in a better position to help him. Or better yet, hold the baby with one hand and make the sandwich with the other. Your emotional state is just as important as your baby’s. Yes, you’d give anything for your child, but do you want your baby to have a happy peaceful mom or a hangry one?
You might think since I have 10 kids, I think it trivial when mothers with only a few kids have problems. On the contrary, I remember how hard 1 kid was, transitioning to 2, our first set of twins, and our second set coming so soon after the first. So moms, no matter how many kids you have, I see you. I get how hard it is, it really is SO hard. But please remember you can’t take care your family when you are not taking care of yourself.