New Beginnings: Finding Myself after Kids

New Years. A time for new beginnings and trying to better ourselves. In years past I thought I had to make a list of the ways I was failing at life, make a plan to fix them ALL starting right on day one, and be consistent with all of them, which was always overwhelming and obviously a failure! This year I’ve wised up and realized perfection is not the goal.

I mean that sounds great, perfection, but it’s just not realistic or a healthy way of thinking. I’ve realized the only way I’m going to make the type of changes I’d like to see in my life is to start with my thoughts, move to making small habit changes, and add new habits only when I feel ready.

This year I decided was my year: the year to find Cassanda. I realize over the last decade of growing and birthing my 10 children, I’ve lost a bit of myself in it all. That being said, I’ve grown in some wonderful ways so I’m excited to see what type of Cassanda 2.0 I can find!

To start this journey, I’ve realized the best thing for me is to have time in the morning to myself; to fill my cup before I can give to everyone else. I’m going to start with meditation in the morning. I’m taking this Christian Meditation Course and will tell you know how it goes, but I’m loving it so far. Also in the hour to myself in the morning, I will spend time writing down my goals and gratitude for the day, reading my scriptures, and pondering what God would have me know for that day. And then I’ll finish it off by exercising. Since this means I’ll have to leave my room and be exposed to my children’s needs, wants, and stories, it will have to be the end of my “me time” in the morning.

Another aspect I’m choosing to work on right now is to be more healthy. I have a lot of thoughts I’ll share about this later, but my baby steps for this right now is to eat more fruits and vegetables and fewer treats. My main goal is to show self control. I’m not talking about counting my calories or restricting anything from my diet. I know from experience that I love the feeling of having a bunch of yummy treats or food in front of me and not eating until I make myself sick. I’m talking about eating that cookie, and thoroughly enjoying it, and stopping myself from going back for seconds or thirds. That type of self control. Will I mess up? Most definitely, but my goal is to use that self control like a muscle: the more I do it the easier it will be and the stronger it will become.

And let’s not forget sleep! All of these hinge on my ability to get enough sleep so I can get up an hour before I have been and to not fall back into my tired eating habits. My plan is to be asleep by 10:30, 11 would still be ok so I’ll have a half hour buffer. One thing I’ve learned is I can’t function at my top level if I’m tired!

I have other thoughts on other ways to find myself again, and I’m sure I’ll share them when they are my main focus, but for now these will be my small (ish) steps to become and find a better me! When you make New Year’s Resolutions are they one or two big things or more smaller ones?

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